Worst Night Ever

In life we are always accostumed to certain things and when these things change, we feel lost and with the need to get these lost things back. We want things to be the way they used to be so we can feel familiar with what used to be "normal" to us. But i have come to the conclusion that many things won't ever be the same in my life. I used to whine about how much i missed my so-called friends and how much i missed being "part of the crew & one of the guys" but i have realized that I can't just go back in time or change the course of things now. I can just make the best of every minute and try to convince myself that things might actually fall into place. I went out with the guys and some friends and i felt horrible. So out of place and so out of cue that i wanted to go home as soon as i got there. More so knowing some disturbing facts, it was inevitable for me to feel dumb as i was feeling uncomfortable. I guess that my wish was fulfilled yet i felt empty inside and i realized the void wont be filled if things go back to the way they used to be, bcuz I just can't turn back time, we can't be who we were, we are now different ppl. I have to live with this fact and face reality. I need to focus on the future and never look back towards my past...