My personal lethal injection

I used to think i had the answered to everything. And that maybe, the things i didnt have an answer to, didnt really have answers at all. I have always known myself as a smart girl and well pretty much ambitious. But i lack self-confidence and optimism. It's like when i was in fifth grade and i made a dance for our local Talent Show, at last minute my friend backed out and when i finally convinced her to do it, i was the one who backed out. I had practiced so much and i was the one who did it, I MADE EVERY SINGLE MOVE. And i have never made up for that one time where i backed out. If it hadnt been for this 6th grade group whom made a last minute Rock N' Roll dance, i know we would have won. We got 2nd place though! or at least, the dancers did... Anyways, i always think about stuff early on, and when i cant i feel suffocated. I have tried time and time again to succeed in so many things in my life and when i have failed, i have blamed myself instead of congratulating myself for getting that far. I hope one day i decide to congratulate myself for being and doing what i do day by day, if it can be congratulated at all, or maybe then regret the bad things i have done and finally look ahead at my future intead of keep looking back and remorsing myself. When i retrace my steps i only see empty sorrow and broken promises, i have yet to look further and find something promising...