My shocking realization of being unwanted

Tonight everything fell into place and i finally realized i wasn't welcomed. The disgusting feeling fell over and as i tried to decapitate what's growing inside of me. It sucks to be me right now. I feel like i have no friends. I have said it before but it never felt so right as of now. I can't even act careless to try and attract attention cause they will just freaking ignore me. I feel like crap, and i can't get over the fact that this whole thing is my fault. My supposed good friend didn't even say good bye because he got mad at me for something stupid which i know he acted like that only because it's me, if it would have been any other person, he wouldn't have made such a big deal about it. The thing is, i feel like they all lost the respect they had for me, i dont know why, i have this horrible not-welcomed feeling when im with them and it just makes me feel so lousy. I thought this weekend would be the best because my "friends + my favorite cousin" were gonna be 2gether but i dont even wanna hang out on friday anymore. I will most likely tell my cousin im going, get my friends to pick her up, tell her im going later and never show up. I dont wanna ruin the party for em, and obviously im not needed. It sucks cause im not important to them, i miss how everything was, how everything used 2 be before and the sad part is that nothing is ever gonna be the same how it was. I can only close my eyes tight, wish for the best and live with the realization that people change and just because i haven't changed doesn't mean im gonna be liked by my so-called friends.